It’s a fantasy for many of us isn’t it? A really hot straight guy gets a little curious and one day he’s so horny he decides to let you have a taste. I think we all have those straight men in our lives somewhere; a colleague,  a fellow student, a guy at the bar, your fag-hag’s hot younger brother…

And most of us treat it as just that; a fantasy. If a guy says he’s straight then that’s it, there’s no getting around that. Or is there?

Image Courtesy BrokeStraightBoys

A few years ago I joined an adult forum where guys and girls talk about sex, masturbation, porn and relationships. And I was really surprised to find a very active section dedicated to guys who view themselves as straight in every other way, but have a fetish for jerking off with other guys.

Now, your reaction is probably the same as mine was at that time. I immediately cried foul and suggested that these guys were either gay or bi and that they were in denial. And I kept up this idea until someone pointed out that a guy can have a fetish for wearing lacy knickers and still be straight, and that a guy can have a kink for leather and it doesn’t make him a biker – a foot fetish doesn’t make you a chiropodist.

Correctly, they pointed out that sex is just one aspect of being gay. It’s also about who you fall in love with, the things you enjoy in life, your social circle, and (perhaps vitally) how you identify yourself sexually. They also pointed out that these labels are man-made. We created them, not nature. Same sex encounters happen all the time in nature, but no other species is shown to treat one form of sex as in any way  different to another. Our own self-imposed rules about sexuality don’t even cover all of us. There are tribes where male mutual masturbation is seen as nothing more considerable than guys socialising. Even in our own culture guys share porn and masturbation as teenagers, before allowing this to end when they discover the opposite sex. But what if guys chose not to let that brief period of teenage exploration end?

Spurred on by the idea that male masturbation was a fetish, and that many more guys than we currently accept would be open to the idea of it, I started some research a few years ago asking straight men what their opinions were when it came to porn and same-sex encounters. And the results were extremely surprising.

There were hundreds of responses from heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual men from numerous backgrounds, countries and lifestyles.

Firstly, when asked about the kinds of porn they enjoy, 52% of heterosexual men taking part stated that they enjoy watching men masturbating. This was deliberately presented as solo, duo or group male masturbation and does not suggest that footage of guys jerking while they have sex with a girl (or girls) is inclusive.

I also asked these straight men what they would choose if they had to decide between watching a video of a male masturbating or a female. 39.5% of these straight men chose the male jerk off.

The straight guys were asked whether they would jerk off with another guy while watching porn together if a friend suggested it, and 80% of them suggested that they would consider it. Only 20% gave a negative response.

So what does this brief snippet of data mean? I think it means that we have a somewhat warped sense of male sexuality, and that even men who live completely heterosexual lives in every other respect also consider masturbation to be a fetish.

If we use the labels we currently accept, far more men could easily be described as bisexual. Although they would fight that description (rightly so in my opinion) there really are many millions of men around the world who live heterosexual lives in every way, but would love the opportunity to share some mild same-sex activities with male friends. I’m inclined to believe that this is as much about friendship and bonding as it is about a genuine fetish for cock and wanking. But the fact remains that many more guys than we would ever have expected are interested in some sexual activity with other guys.

Is it really controversial or shocking? I don’t think so. I think it simply exposes a very basic fetish that we have otherwise overlooked. Just as straight men have an appreciation for big boobs or lesbian sex, isn’t it reasonable to consider that the greatest fetish is actually for the most basic and common sexual activity of all?

As a group of people, we have fought for equality and struggled to break down the walls. And with the help of the internet and anonymous access to sexual inspiration of various kinds, men are finally finding that they are not alone or strange in their sexual interests. Whether you think it is right or wrong that a guy can call himself straight while enjoying these activities is not for you to judge or condemn. You have the right to call yourself whatever you like and identify with any group of people you feel approprite, but at the same time that right should not be viewed differently as it applies to others.

And ultimately, isn’t it a good thing that many more men are now actively exploring their same-sex desires? Whatever they call themselves, it just gives men (gay, straight, curious or bi) more guys to play with!

After the revelations of the research, and writing a comprehensive ebook on the subject, it has given me the opportunity to have sexual relationships with plenty of men who would be “otherwise straight”. Some just like to jerk off to porn with a friend, most like to swap hands, and some are a little more daring and eventually consider themselves bisexual. And I have found that all it takes is a comfortable environment, some beer and adequate porn.

So if you have a few straight guys in your life you’d love to try getting it on with, half of them probably would given the right opportunity, it’s learning how to cross that line comfortably that’s the main issue. But in the meantime you could join sites like the B8M8Network, where straight, bi and gay guys find others for mutual masturbation. You can also read more about this subject (and check out the ebook) over at MensSexAdvisor.

Have an opinion? Tell me what you think below.